Roll Call
Chairman Waller presided over a band of councillors like a conductor guiding an occasionally confused orchestra. Cllr Stevens showed up fashionably late at 7:22pm – his excuse? Saving the Youth Centre from a fire alarm situation. (Heroic.) Cllrs Biddle and Anstey were MIA, with the official reason of “personal”. Probably just watching The Great British Bake Off.
Also attending:
- County Cllr Allen
- District Cllrs Harrison & Michael
- 2 brave residents
- Sharon “Master of Minutes” Dunn – Clerk & RFO
Public Questions
Two members of the public asked important things. Notes were taken. Promises to “look into it” were probably made. Reports from the County and District Councillors were noted (and nodded at thoughtfully).
Corrections Corner
Previous minutes were approved with a few minor tweaks. “bus top” became “bus stop” (well spotted), and “any Parish Council” became “the Parish Council”, which sounds infinitely more regal.
Correspondence: The Mailbag Rundown
- Devolution White Paper: The government wants to simplify things. Expect more shuffling of councils and buzzwords like “unitary”.
- Pavement Licensing: Should Kempsey be a statutory consultee? No one’s sure, but we might like to be asked, thank you.
- Upper Ham Common application: Approved! (No one gasped.)
Finance: Counting the Beans
- Accounts paid ✔
- Bank rec done ✔
- Budget monitoring complete ✔
- Final budget for 2025/26 approved at a crispy £260,419, with an extra £6.5k to keep the Community Builder rolling.
- Precept to MHDC: £169,446. That’s the price of parish dreams.
Party Planning & Singing Seniors
Cllr Waller revealed £750 will fund a vintage singer for the Village Fete in June. Expect war-time bangers and confused teenagers.
Environment & Daffodil Disaster
Cllr Plummer confirmed:
- Noticeboards = mostly fine
- Green Street’s one is off sick
- Two white marker caps are missing from Post Office Lane (scandalous)
- Daffodils flattened near the Crown by vehicular vandals. A formal frown was issued. Signs incoming.
- The cherry tree? Still in limbo. Ringway not responding. Typical.
Community Centre Chaos
- Youth Centre’s small meeting room is as cold as your ex’s heart – electrician on the way.
- Freezing weather signs to be installed by Cllr Waller (DIY King).
- Rain got into the Parish Office. A building surveyor is being summoned. Possibly with holy water.
Infrastructure: The Building Boffins
- Arboricultural assessments, Biodiversity Gain reports, and a suspiciously stylish cladding sample – all in a day’s work.
- EV Charging Points: One isn’t enough. Back to the drawing board.
- Cllr Waller: “We’re almost ready to submit the planning application.” Translation: Nearly there, honest!
Commons & Rec: Gates, Brambles & Drainage Drama
- New gate for Kempsey Common is being considered
- Brambles are getting unruly on Stonehall
- A drainage ditch may need some love (and possibly waders)
Planning: Naming Streets & Saving Villages
- NPPF, SDG, SWDPr – so many acronyms, so little tea
- Item withdrawn: hiring a planning specialist
- Instead, Cllr Gardener to write a “strongly worded letter” to Mr Ian McLeod
- Delegated powers granted for Streetscape response – democracy, but efficient
Chairman’s Report: Waller’s World
- Community Builder panel being assembled
- Youth Hub funding application underway
- Community Café mentioned in Kempsey Times
- Councillors encouraged to write pieces – expect heartfelt letters and passive-aggressive pothole rants
- Emergency Plan Update: “If it floods again, we’ve got a plan. Probably involving sandbags.”
- Councillor Recruitment: Stand at the Village Fete planned – with leaflets and hopeful expressions
- Police Cycle Sponsorship: Cllr White to chase
- Top Policing Priorities:
- Illegal & dangerous parking (especially at the shop & surgery)
- ASB at The Rocky
- Shoplifting & other chaos
Confidential Whispers (Press & Public Out!)
- Admin Assistant contract changes approved
- Lengthsman to get a raise (but only for private jobs – cheeky!)
And that’s the lot!
Next meeting promises more budgets, more brambles, and maybe a fully functional radiator.
