Ever dreamed of hosting your book club, birthday bash, or interpretive dance class in a venue that whispers “I remember the ’90s” with every flicker of the fluorescent tube?
Well, have we got a deal for you…
Kempsey Community Centre – Yours for just £10/hr!
Yes, you read that right. A whole ten British pounds. The chairs? Slightly wobbly. The décor? Retro chic (if you’re generous). But the price? Frankly, cheaper than a posh sandwich in Worcester.
Whether you’re organising a PTA meeting, a knitting circle, or a low-stakes escape room, the Community Centre is ready – and available – to help fill the council coffers one bingo night at a time.
Need more space? Try the Plovers Rise Centre – £12.50/hr!
The bigger cousin with a bit more legroom and a lot more “needs work.” We’re talking:
- A kitchen straight out of a 1993 B&Q catalogue
- Lighting that could double as a séance starter pack
- Wi-Fi that technically exists
It’s got character. Possibly too much. But if you squint a little and bring your own kettle, it’s perfectly functional.
Why the Hustle?
Because, dear residents, parish councils don’t run on tea and goodwill alone. With national funding tighter than a jam jar lid in January, every room booking helps top up the council’s “fix it” fund — whether it’s for leaky roofs, dodgy windows, or finally upgrading from budget toilet roll.
And hey – don’t forget those council tax rises. That goes into the parish savings jar too. So really, you’re already helping… why not go all in and book a room?
And hey – maybe, just maybe … if the stars align and the gods of grant funding smile upon us, that long-promised £1.8 million pound sports and community centre might actually get built.
But until then – we’ve got what we’ve got. It’s affordable, it’s available, and honestly? It’s not that bad.
Meanwhile, over at Parish HQ
The next Kempsey Parish Council meeting is coming up, and there’s a chunky agenda ready for your curiosity, comment, or quiet observation from the back row. Some highlights:
- Requests for dispensations (Councillor admin things)
- Public Question Time — up to 3 minutes each (with a stopwatch and polite nods)
- Fence-destroying trees, wandering horses on the common, and solar panels for speed signs
- A possible name change from “Main Road Working Party” to “Love Kempsey Working Party” (adorable)
- Updates on everything from community builders to police electric bikes
- And three policing priorities for April–June. (We’re guessing: 1. Speeding, 2. Speeding, and 3. Did we mention speeding?)
And yes, notes will be taken, minutes will be typed, and politeness shall prevail. Bring your questions, your passion for parish life, or just come for the spectacle.
