NIMBY This, NUMBY That – A Cheeky Rant from the Front Lines of Progress

Good morning from the land of fence paint, curtain twitching, and absolutely no change whatsoever – yes, it’s time to talk about that very British breed: the NIMBY.

That’s right, Not In My Back Yard – unless it’s a hot tub, a conservatory, or a fourth car. When it comes to progress, some folks would rather time travel back to 1997 and stay there indefinitely, sipping lukewarm tea while writing letters of objection in angry biro.

But here’s the rub – Kempsey is growing. Whether we like it or not (and plenty clearly don’t), the village needs to evolve. We need:

• More housing (people do need somewhere to live),
• Better GP access and a pharmacy that doesn’t require a packed lunch for the queue,
• A primary school that isn’t bursting at the seams,
• Bus stops you don’t need a treasure map to find,
• Sports facilities that don’t look like relics from the Cold War,
• A skatepark (because kids exist and they roll),
• Modern playgrounds (where the slide isn’t older than your nan),
• And EV charging points because, newsflash: horses aren’t coming back.

But just as sure as rain follows a barbecue, every time a plan goes in to fix something, the NIMBYs flap into action like a WI meeting gone rogue.

Now, let’s not forget our dear Parish Council – bless ’em. They’ve got their own time zone: somewhere around 1984. Progress? Planning? Engaging young families? They’re about as in touch with reality as a dial-up modem. Watching them run things is like watching a VHS tape in a 4K world.

It’s time – time to shake the apple cart. Dust off your boots, Kempsey. Maybe we need less chinwag and more change. New blood, fresh ideas, and people who understand that growth isn’t a threat – it’s a necessity. The council isn’t a retirement home for ideas; it’s supposed to lead.

Let’s stop pretending our village can thrive on nostalgia and start building a future that works for everyone. That means better infrastructure, smarter planning, and public services that don’t run on vibes and printer paper from 2003.

Yes, development should be smart and considered. No, we don’t want soulless estates. But saying “NO!” to everything isn’t leadership – it’s laziness dressed in tweed.

So here’s to change, to ambition, and to giving Kempsey a proper upgrade – not just for some backyards, but for all of us.

Time to dust off the pitchforks… for progress, not protest. And maybe a few new councillors while we’re at it.